


Stripes to The Dragons

by Sailingfreely



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Implied Mafia, Kick it mv, Light Angst, M/M, Rejections, Slow Burn, Smut, This fic very self indulgent, You can think of the au like their mv
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:48:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23298064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sailingfreely/pseuds/Sailingfreely
Summary: It started when they met for the first time in Taeyong's father's dojo, all wide eyed and so little limbs. What started on simple friendship, becomes complicated when they learnt how different their worlds are, and how contrasting their ideals on life.But what to do, when the yearns of their hearts denying what was right and better for them?
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 9
Kudos: 122





	Stripes to The Dragons

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for that CERTAIN SOMEONE on Twitter who made me wrote this 😤😤
> 
> Anyway, this is very self indulgent lol. I hope you like it~

It's the morning, the air already cold and bright, yet the occasional breeze passing through Jaehyun's skin didn't ease the sting of the sun. He continues to walk along the road adorned with trees and bushes, until his eyes laid on a building, small yet imbued with a mix of modern and traditional style. It's quiet, as he knew from the two years he's been going there that at that time there's still barely people present. With familiarity he slides open the door, unlocked by the only person he knew there and as expected, he sees him inside.

The young man, not quite an adult yet, still held a boyish look on his appearance, a figure Jaehyun known very well for the years they've shared together. All sharp angles and edges, big eyes and thick eyebrows with thin lips, the young man didn't take notice of him just yet. Or perhaps, he decided to ignore Jaehyun, as always since _that day_. Jaehyun watch by leaning on a wall he's always at every morning, see the graceful movement of the young man flowing into stances like river yearning to the sea, like the wind among the mountains. Framed with sunlight, woody scents and earthy colors, Jaehyun think the other young man is nature. Beautiful and strong, graceful yet unattainable, he yearns for the tanned skin to touch, but he cannot touch.

"When will you stop?"

Jaehyun look up to meet a pair of dark eyes, not yet seeing him but undeniably addressing him, "never?"

"You don't belong here," the young man stopped his practice, gathering a towel on a nearby chair and wipes his sweat. Jaehyun could almost smell it, taste it in the air, merely dreams and wishful thinking.

"You've said that far too much I'm about to get it," he chuckled.

"Then don't come back."

"Your father welcomed me."

"That was years ago," the young man scoffed, drinking water from the bottle in his hand, Adam's apple bobbing up and down his slender throat, Jaehyun's eyes follow. How would it feel, to have them in the coil of his hands? "And this is not my father's dojo, this is my place, you're not welcomed by me."

"It wasn't always like that, just when did it change?" Jaehyun took a step closer, the other young man pays no mind.

"Pity, life is changing, you're wasting your time hoping it didn't," he laughed, short and a bit hollow.

"You're about to graduate, I don't even know which college you're going for," Jaehyun said, a fact he condemned rather strongly, because he wish to stay, to deny what's coming. "What a man can do to be welcomed, again?"

The young man laughed again, this time with humor and find him ridiculous, "don't kid yourself brat, you're not a man, you stink of snot still to me. And you won't be going for college anyway, no use of you knowing, not your business."

"Are you trying to severe the ties, Taeyong?"

The young man took his bag, hauls them on his shoulder without changing his attire for practice. It's something he has never done, claiming the attire is sacred only for the dojo, the act tells Jaehyun that he's in a hurry, that he's running away, "whatever ties had once existed, they're no longer, Jaehyun."

Then he left and it was the last Jaehyun saw of Taeyong in the end of their high school years.

○●※●○

It was a year later did Taeyong see him again, standing while leaning on a wall of the dojo in his college, almost the same scene in every morning even after all this time. The only thing that is different about the younger man, who he remembered as a boy, was now he didn't wear the uniform which they used to wear in high school, seemingly taller and matured just a bit. Yet Taeyong didn't miss the childish hope glimmering in his eyes, of hope he's too fed up to face, of hope Taeyong too afraid to allow.

"Are you a ghost? Why do you haunt every dojo I'm ever at?"

"I've graduated," the taller and younger man said, unmoving, face unreadable.

Taeyong didn't know what kind of answer Jaehyun wanted from that statement, "and?"

"Am I still not welcomed?"

He couldn't believe his ears, starting at the other pair of dark eyes with lining mock, "whatever makes you think I'll welcome you again? After what you did?"

Jaehyun too, wonders.

  
They used to train together in a dojo bigger than the one at school, but sometimes when Jaehyun feel like it, he would also train with Taeyong in those dojo, be it in middle school or high school. He had grown used to seeing Taeyong's back, practicing in lines ahead of him, a better fighter, better at everything. Jaehyun hates to lose, but whatever rivalry ever existed between them, it was pure and accompanied with respect. When everyone has gone home, he would train side by side with Taeyong, like they're equals, maybe they were, or maybe it was only Jaehyun's yearning.

Being two years younger, despite he got into school a year earlier, he was still not in the same year as Taeyong and it had left him with dissatisfaction greatly. Jaehyun never fit with anyone, he was always alone despite the few so called friends who dared to get close to him, because his family background didn't quite offer mundane friendliness. They were almost always afraid of him, except for Taeyong who had known him from a long time ago. But the older is different from him, he was ordinary and that's why he has many friends more than Jaehyun can count. And he hates it because he only has Taeyong.

It was summer when the sun was too hot, humid and sweat drenching their uniform the way they were sticking to their skin. Usually he could control his temper, quiet with it although his eyes loud with intense, burning emotions. But that day, Jaehyun couldn't quite make peace with his anger. He's aware that Taeyong is touchy with his friends, hands on shoulder, arms around the torso, bright wide grins and Jaehyun allow it so long it was Taeyong who did that. But not the other way around.

Because when he saw a friend of Taeyong clinging to him, pecking his cheek in their joke, Jaehyun saw red and green. The next thing he knew, his fist already flew through the air, made an impact with flesh and bones, and he didn't stop even when he heard muffled screams coming from Taeyong. Too much blood rushing through his ears that he couldn't hear anything but his own heartbeats, couldn't even feel the pain of the scrape on his fist or the jab Taeyong had granted to him, until he got kicked away.

He was stunned on the ground, shocked that Taeyong would do that to him, because of someone else, someone not him. As if he was nothing to him. His bruising skin didn't hurt, Taeyong's accusing and angry glare on him did. But regret only tears him apart when he said what Jaehyun couldn't ever forget.

"I thought you were different, but after all, the apple never falls far from the tree, isn't it."

Jaehyun always hate his father, never did he hates him as much as then.

  
"What can I offer, for your forgiveness, Taeyong?" It's been two years, yet it seems the older still holds him guilty.

"My life was peaceful without you this past year, why not make it last?"

"I've made mistakes, one which you hold against me, I've admitted it, begged for your forgiveness and given you time. What more do you want from me?" Jaehyun said, never hiding the desperation in his tone.

"You don't get it, do you? I may have forgiven you, Jaehyun, despite you've beaten my friend to pulp for reasons I can't quite understand, but it is you I don't want to be with. You're dangerous for me."

"I never hurt you and I never will, if there's one thing I could vow on my mother's name, is that I'll never hurt you," he said a bit strongly, they both know how much his mother meant for him, the only solace in his dark life which was lost in his young age. One of the many reasons why he hates his father. "And you know what caused me to do that, you know perfectly well and you never want to acknowledge it."

"And it makes it right to do that? You've got a screw loose if you think so, that's why-"

"I'll be sent out of this country soon, my father want me to see his business out there, we might not be able to see each other again after that," Jaehyun cuts in.

Taeyong stares at him with a look so calm, undeterred and it makes Jaehyun's skin crawl in uneasiness and anger, "good, then I'll never see you again."

"You're the only one I have! You're-"

"Stop obsessing over me!" Taeyong shouted, for once his mask crumbled to give way for emotions to fill in his face, expression wild and raw that Jaehyun couldn't stop himself from launching forward.

He caught the man's wrists in his hands, feeling them thin within his strong, unforgiving holds, forcing them down and crashed the man to the wall behind him to kiss his open, thin lips. For years had he yearns for a taste, to touch, to feel it against his own lips, warm and soft, a bit wet and harsh from the way their teeth knocking together. Taeyong tries to push him away, he could, Jaehyun knows the man is stronger than his looks, slim and delicate. But somehow at that time, the man couldn't. And he licks, biting and kissing him desperately of years of thirst, nothing else filling him than the pour of desire drowning them.

Then, Jaehyun feels the way Taeyong kissing him back, with the same intensity, pushing forward to inhale him, sucking in and licking that they're drinking each other. Until suddenly he got pushed away harshly, pain in his chest, longing in his soul as he stares at Taeyong in surprise and disbelief. The older breathing hard with red face, hunger in his eyes mirroring his own, but he denies it, he pushed Jaehyun away, letting him go.

"Go away, Jaehyun, go to wherever fuck you want."

Jaehyun stood there, unmoving, trying to rearrange his thoughts, to calm the storm within, "Taeyong-"

"For God sake, _I don't want you!_ "

"Then take yourself out from me! You so shamelessly took root inside me and I can't take it out myself, _so take it out!_ Make me hate you!" He screamed, uncaring for his weakness to be seen, he's already broken anyway.

"Get out, go away, I don't want to see you ever again," Taeyong hissed, "I hate you, so get out!"

The words are painful to take, tearing the pieces that's left of him, yet what he sees in Taeyong's glassy, red eyes were something different entirely. How did he expect Jaehyun to let go when he looks as broken as he is?

By then, he knows no amount of talking could get through anymore, so Jaehyun turned away, walking to the door not without leaving a piece of his broken heart with the older man, "you said I'm a ghost, Taeyong. They never really go away."

When he closed the door behind him, tears wetting his cheeks, he didn't hear the cry inside the building. So, so lonesome and sorrowful.

○●※●○

How many years has it been? Taeyong didn't quite count, it does feel like a long time since he saw or in any contact with his once childhood friend, whose name he couldn't allow to say. The name brings more than just an ache in his chest, of memories flooding in whenever he thinks about it, oh why now he remembers him again? Why he's back to this part of the town when he had avoided the place for so long? There shouldn't be no attachment lingers, he had let go, and yet just being there he got reminded of him. Even at a place which never was in their memory.

"Still tired?" There's a kiss to his cheek, soft and gentle before Taeyong turned around and see a sweet smile paired with even sweeter bright brown eyes. "I thought I gave you long enough hours to sleep, and yet here you are still looking dazed."

"Good morning, Joe," he giggled, tickling the slightly bearded chin with his fingers, kissing the smile with his own, "I'm not tired, the day is only beginning, I was just thinking."

"And what are you thinking, hm?" Joe hugs him from behind, dragging him away to sit on a chair at the counter in that bakery.

Taeyong is chuckling, sitting on the man's lap, but there's a hollowing sense he couldn't rid of, "it's still feels strange, for me, to be in this town again."

Thick fingers brushing in his locks, breath caressing the skin of his nape, "were you running away, Taeyong?"

He couldn't answer, didn't want to answer, truth too heavy Taeyong hates the taste of it haunting his entire being. He stands up, walking away, but there's a hand on his wrist stopping him from going. He looks down to see it, realizing that even though the scene is far too familiar, of someone trying to keep him to stay. This was not the same hand.

"I won't ask," Joe said, something like a whisper and Taeyong could only smile to reply him. His feet feel lighter to go, no phantom hands restraining his steps like it once was, but his heart is heavy, so heavy. He could only listen when the other man said, "another pupil from your father's dojo came here the other day, asking for you to come back."

He gritted his teeth in silence, avoiding eye contact for fear to be seen, emotions he couldn't hide too well in his eyes, and the voice continues, "your father never asks you to take over his dojo nor hold you back from choosing your own life, why not pay him a visit, Taeyong? There's nothing keeping you from going."

 _There is_ , he said to himself, something nobody knows. Except for one man in that world, only him.

Finally, he turned around, smiling with a mask over his face, "I know."

_You don't._

  
It's raining hard, Taeyong looking at the harsh shower down the sky outside the bright bakery shop, darkness surrounding like a telltale of a storm. Much like the unceasing storm in his heart despite his unaffected appearance. Steps and door slamming bringing Taeyong out of his reverie, seeing the shop owner trying to put on a raincoat.

"Taeyong, I'm gonna have to step out today because it seems the stock which scheduled for today won't make it due to some issues, I need to look at it."

"Don't worry, I can handle the shop alone, it seems not many customers will come anyway because of this rain," he smiled, letting the other man kiss him before he's stepping out in a rush, into the hard rain, immediately drenching the figure.

He stood by the window, leaning on it to see the darkness seeping in, creeping into the shop and the void within him from under the door. As if he's waiting, for something unknown, of a shadow standing across the road, shadow he's been seeing for the past few weeks. Was it a creation of his mind, or was it reality spilling out from the calm insanity inside him? He lets go, walking deeper into the shop, into the kitchen just to find something to do, to distract him from a yearning he had grown accustomed to deny.

But when he comes back to the front of the shop, it wasn't only the darkness from the outside which coming in, to be seen under the bright artificial light. But a figure he never quite forgets no matter how hard he try, no matter how desperately he try to chase away, again like the persistent unwelcome visit in his head, the silhouette take a more solid form in front of him.

He could only stare, mouth shut tightly and there's a tremble in his hands, flickers in his eyes. A deep sounding step echoing in the silent, suddenly too narrow space around him, like a muffled heartbeat in water, then another and another, getting closer to him. Strangely, he didn't take a step away, not even when the heat radiating from the figure hitting the front of his body.

"Rain brought about silence and washes clean the dirt," the voice says, deep and far too silky like phantom fingers slithering on his face. Taeyong shivered, not accepting the way his body longs for the one before him, mouth opening unknown to breathe in the scent of rain and musk, or to speak of a word he had readied for years.

"Have you decided to haunt not only every dojo I've been to, but here too?" He whispered, angry at himself that his throat closing in due to the mounting emotions inside.

"I'm a ghost, like you told me I am, I never leave, Taeyong."

Another shiver, oh can't his body stop betraying his will, he never wants to seem anything not of collected mind, "it's been years and I was starting to believe I've succeeded at erasing you, why have you come back?"

"It's been four years, long but not quite, and I know I never leave, Taeyong. Not from the places in your mind, I've always been there, haven't I? In the palace inside your head," he whispers, sweet like the devil, creeping in with ghastly fingers.

"How sure are you that you're not just mere shapeless shadows there?"

"Because then, why are you here, in a place which stands on my ground? You know that this town is within my hold, you ran and now you have come back. I know where to find you even when you're outside my ground, Taeyong, what fools you into thinking that I won't catch the smell of your existence here?"

His ground, Taeyong have heard about the young heir beginning to take over the current head's business. Being so far away, how could he still know that, still hearing about this man when he claimed to have erased him from his life? Was he really just fooling himself?

"All this, only proofs of you being the man I hate you to be, you came from a different world than mine, Jaehyun. And I don't want to get involved, nor can I accept your way of life," he held the hiss at the back of his throat, not wanting to look like he have no control over himself.

But Jaehyun pushing in closer, almost mingling their breaths, "do I choose to be born like this?"

A hard question they both know what's the aim, jabbing straight to Taeyong's heart. But he did ask, he wasn't running away then, "there was choices I did ask to you, and you made a choice then."

"No, it wasn't a choice I made, I couldn't make a choice then, there was no other way for me to make my own path. You were asking at the wrong time, the wrong me."

"Wasn't he still you? Are you different now?" He challenged, there's a sick satisfaction mixed with disappointment when he sees the flicker of uncertainty in the other man's eyes.

Jaehyun is leaning down, slightly grazing their hair together for his whisper to caress Taeyong's ear, "now, I can make my own path, Taeyong. I'm not the hopeless kid I was back then, the time away from you, was me to be stronger and take you back to me. When the time comes, ask me again, and it'll be the answer you wanted long years ago."

Taeyong sees him, the man before him, much the same with features he had remembered those years ago, yet at the same time so different. This man, have no full cheeks he knew back then, of soft edges and innocence he was afraid to taint with selfish wishes. What once was a gentle pair of dark eyes with mirth and kindness not befitting to his life, now with sharp glint and undeterred strength that pulls him so and almost makes Taeyong want to reach out, holds the remaining pieces in front of him. Did he grow, into this man whom makes him weak in the knees, almost capable of tearing apart the carefully locked thick gate of his heart?

"Why you always ditched swimming class?"

Jaehyun look up from his phone, giving him a look of mock exhaustion, "got no friends, you know that, I'll look lame standing alone by the poolside while they're all playing around like the kids they are."

"You talk like you're not a kid yourself," Taeyong snorted, bumping their shoulder together, "you got a few though, don't be like that."

"They're only using me to pull their rank, I'm sick of them," he pushed Taeyong away, a bit annoyed, "you know I only have you as a friend. Besides, they have many assumptions about me, it's stifling only to change clothes around them."

Taeyong cares, his eyes softens at the implication, "they thought your skin was marked? So why don't you just show them that you're not yet tattooed?"

"Let them bark, I don't care, if that makes them stay away from me, then that's good."

Despite the nonchalance, he understands Jaehyun very well, he's hurt, and yet he's as stubborn as a mule. He chose to ask something else, "will you, though?"

The unease and uncertainty which lowers Taeyong's voice, he didn't miss to notice, "will you get upset if I did?"

"I don't like it, you know that since the very beginning, the only reason why I stay friends with you was because I know you, your person."

"And the only thing I ever be thankful to my father, was letting me train in your father's dojo," he shrugged.

Taeyong plays with Jaehyun's hair in his fingers, beautiful glossy dark brown under the sunlight, "I never understand why he let you train there when I know for certain he have his own dojo for his men."

"Your father was well known, I guess he wanted me to train properly to be stronger than even his best men," he sighed, throwing the crumpled burger wrap to Taeyong's head, eliciting a disapproving yell, "the only reason why your father let us was because he owned my father. I've always felt sorry for having your father threatened like that."

"My father hates the likes of him, that's true, but he holds you in a different light, you know? He knows of your genuine kindness and compassion, that's why he trained you well, and hopes for you to use it for a greater cause."

Jaehyun laughed, mocking himself, "the bar lowers knowing my background, doesn't it. If I were an ordinary kid, he wouldn't really see me differently than any other ordinary kids."

"That doesn't change the fact that you're a kind person, Jaehyun. Also, there's no one ordinary amongst us," Taeyong says, fingers sliding on the broad shoulder, going lower to rest on the pale forearm, hotter at the touch like the simmering in the dark eyes. Deep and pulling him forward like a man bewitched, suddenly there's hands on his slender waist and their lips met, gliding against each other.

Strange, why are they doing this? It just happened, something in the way their eyes staring beyond almost always pulling them in closer and the next they're doing this. What is this? Why does it feel right? Like a pair of gloves, fitted personally. When a hand sliding lower from his waist though, Taeyong stops, softly pushing Jaehyun away.

"Why... Are we doing this? Friends don't do this."

"You don't... like it?" Jaehyun breathed out, still holding him not wanting to let go just yet.

The problem is, _he like it,_ but Taeyong is not going to say it. "Can't you not continue your father's business? Just be... ordinary?" He said instead.

Jaehyun appears to be rather conflicted, knowing that Taeyong just brushing away the discussion which long been overdue between them. But he always let Taeyong hold the lines, so he let go, leaning away on the wall he was at before they got that close, "I can't, that's out of the question."

"Can't you... run away?"

He scoffed, "run away? There's no way I can do that, he would find me no matter how far I'll run to. Besides," he looks to Taeyong, fingers twitching wanting to touch the boy's hair, "I would have to leave you, I don't want that."

"Then, run away together?" Taeyong whispered, hoping and seeing the way Jaehyun's hand deciding whether to touch him or not. _You can touch me, touch me, I want you to touch me_ , but it was one of the many Taeyong couldn't say.

Jaehyun look at him strangely, there's a question _why_ in his eyes, but like Taeyong, he also has many things he couldn't say, "bringing you with me, you'll have to bear the consequences if we get caught, I never want to involve you like that."

Taeyong is staring at his hands, missing the way they felt a warmth under, now growing cold with the prospect of future, "so one day... you won't be going where I'll go to."

"Taeyong-"

"One day, we will separate. Why start at all?"

  
"I won't ask," Taeyong finally said, not without an ache deep within, speaking of different wishes.

Jaehyun searches his eyes, but the man is looking away, he couldn't see the truth, "Why won't you?"

"Because I'm done, Jaehyun, I'm done," his voice so tired, giving up starting to reside in his limbs, " I don't want to stay haunted."

"Do you think I'm not? I'm also haunted, Taeyong, I don't want your ghost to stay with me."

"Then-"

"I want you, the real you, with me," Jaehyun leaning down, wanting to capture those thin lips with his, but Taeyong turned away, hands on his chest, holding him back.

"Don't. Don't do it, Jaehyun, it's not the same now."

"It never was the same anymore," Jaehyun said, a bit pleading, desperate, "it's never the same anymore since that day you asked me to choose, but you never deny me like this."

"Because... now I'm with someone else," why does it hurt Taeyong to say that? Why there's guilt blooming?

Silence grew between them, but Jaehyun never take a step back, "I never stray, Taeyong, it's always been only you."

Taeyong wished he hadn't said that, because it hurts even more now, "I never ask you to."

"You didn't, but I know. Who do you think of night and day? Take you higher than you ever been?"

"I don't! Just stop, okay? Stop this, whatever this is, I'm over you, Jaehyun," he said in frustration, as if begging. But begging for what, really?

"Look at me and say that again."

The voice was deep and unrelenting, Taeyong look up to stare deep beyond the dark brown eyes, challenging. Yet there's no sound leaving his lips, something inside of him holding tightly over his voice.

"You don't," there's a small smile on Jaehyun's lips and Taeyong forces it out.

"I do. I am."

"Then say it."

"I don't have to," he said defiantly.

"You can try to fool yourself, Taeyong, but not me. You can't fool me, I know you better than you know yourself."

"You just want to think so. What I want from you is a closure, an end to this."

"You'll never get it from me." He said firmly, allowing himself to slightly brushing his fingers over Taeyong's hair, "I will never give you that closure so long I know better."

"Then we're done talking," Taeyong hissed.

Jaehyun stay quiet, still searching his eyes, then, "you know, the stock for this shop will never arrive, no matter how hard your little lover tries to get it. I'll offer you an advice, perhaps you can do something about it."

He couldn't believe his ears, of all people, he couldn't believe Jaehyun would do that to him. Something akin to betrayal rose in his heart, "are you threatening me, Jaehyun?"

Who betrayed first, though, when he sees the hurt in Jaehyun's eyes, he knows the answer to it despite no promises made between them, "I think you know, Taeyong, what will happen depending on your choices."

"So you'll do underhanded things like this? How could you-" his throat feels too tight to speak more, there's a feeling of tears building up in his eyes, "how cruel of you."

Jaehyun let go, walking away with a smile on his face, but it wasn't quite a victory. With a hand on the door, he looks back to him, saying, "ask yourself Taeyong, who's more cruel between us. Is it me who's using him to get you, or is it you who's using him to send me a message?"

"I don't-"

"We both know, you have to have a reason to stay in this city, to be your excuse. After all, it'll be far too obvious if you're here without any reason, won't it?"

As always, Jaehyun left with him having the final words and Taeyong to struggle with his own thoughts, fighting with himself. They hadn't kissed, there was nothing but tension in the air and words unsaid between them, yet it was enough to make a dent in Taeyong's supposedly steel heart. It was enough to make what was already doesn't feel right, feels even more wrong whenever Joe touches him.

Jaehyun was right, he's the cruel one.

○●※●○

He never went to high school reunion, he didn't think he was ready despite the many texts from his friends begging him to come. He was afraid of meeting a certain someone, although at the end of it, his friends always said that the person never comes just like him. As if they knew, as if they're both avoiding each other, but they know best that wasn't it. They were both waiting. Either for one of them to raise the white flag, or for them to finally ready enough to make the choice. It took Taeyong almost seven years since their last encounter, to make his choice.

He doesn't want to drag it any longer.

The reunion was cheerful, bright and merry, with many people bemoaning how they'd missed him terribly. At first, it was fine for Taeyong, he also missed them dearly, drinks and stories shared. But there's that hollowing sense in the pit of his gut as he sees not the man who have haunted all his steps in life. Was he hoping to find him? Or was he not? He's not sure.

He caught sight of a tall man coming closer to him from his peripheral vision, then there's a hand patting his shoulder, "you finally came to the reunion."

"I hadn't missed much, it was only arranged for a few times, Doyoung."

"Still, you never come. I almost believe that you have come now just so we can talk about the thing you asked me," he grinned all gummy smiles, sweet looking as always.

"Won't be so wrong to say it like that," he smiled back. They're much older now compared to when they were reckless, noisy teens, yet meeting like this, it feels like they've gone back to those times again.

"So... you are serious about that?" The question is accompanied with a serious look, a bit surprised but not at all alarmed, just curious.

"Do you think I would joke about that? Something serious like that?"

"No, I just think it's kind of hard to believe since it'll be dangerous. But why? Why now? Are you trying to have revenge or something on him?"

"Revenge, huh?" He chuckled, "maybe, it is revenge. Maybe, it is something else."

"From what I heard, he hasn't been in any contact with you for the past years, don't you think he had let go?"

Taeyong smiled, composure is with him, "I know him far too well, Doyoung, I know him more than I know myself. He hadn't let go, he's waiting and I'll answer to that."

"You do realize it'll be dangerous, right?" Doyoung asked again.

"I won't force anyone to join me, it must be voluntary, knowing how dangerous it could be," he shrugged, "if I must do it myself, then I will. You know me, I couldn't sit back by turning a blind eye to what is wrong. My father has a some sort of organization doing similar things with what I want to do, so we won't be completely without support or blind to what's the best to do."

Doyoung sighing deeply, "from the start, you're always the strongest one among us, Taeyong. Kinda expect you to do something like this with your righteous ass, but we won't leave you to do it yourself, we took an oath when we join the brotherhood in your father's dojo. We will answer to it."

"It has to be your own choice, their own choice, everyone responsible for their own. This won't be a game, Doyoung."

"We're all perfectly aware of it," Doyoung straighten up, catching sight of a certain person, easy to notice since the person bring about whispers around him, "speak of the devil."

"Long time no see," the man said as soon as he reached them, greetings to the both of them but his eyes lay only on Taeyong. It was enough of a sign for Doyoung to spare his greeting and leave the two alone. Immediately, Jaehyun stepping in closer, "you look well."

"And you look persistent still," he snorted, "after so many years and you never come to these functions, yet here you are on my trail."

"Unfortunately, I can't seem to let go," Jaehyun chuckled, sipping at his champagne, "aren't you going to start your usual speech of rejection?"

"Do you want me to?"

"I don't, but if it allows me to speak with you longer, I'll take what I can get. It's been years, although I couldn't be as patient as I've been, I've come to a conclusion that sharing between friends with you is better than none at all. Unless, you don't even want that."

They didn't say anything else, silence persists and it was only Jaehyun who's antsy on his stood in front of Taeyong, shifting his weight between his legs until, "I've been planning to take my father down."

"Do you?" Taeyong asked but not really questioning.

"It's the only way to finally get out of his clutches."

Taeyong stays quiet for a moment, feeling a bit of satisfaction from catching signs of unease from the man before him, waiting and afraid to hear his response. He decided to be merciful, the long years have matured him, aside that he also wasn't that patient, "I'm done, Jaehyun."

The man sees nothing but calmness and certainty, a calmness which was absent in their last encounter and the few before it, this caused a cold shiver through his bones. Jaehyun was afraid of _this moment_ , every time he dared himself to visit Taeyong, he was always afraid of seeing that look on the older man. That he's done, _truly_ , and finally made his choice to end them.

He lowers his head, a sense of loss and hollow creeping up his being, a humorless and empty soft laugh slipping past his lips, "they told me that I'm fearless, but they couldn't be more wrong. This moment, I fear this to finally come."

Taeyong just watches, not missing the way the flute crystal glass in the man's hand slightly trembling, taking in how shaken he is in front of him. Then Jaehyun look up again, staring at him and there's no words said for their eyes speak in silence. Jaehyun thought, that maybe this is finally the time for him to raise the white flag.

"I guess this is it," he said softly, dejected and defeated did he look, putting down his glass on a nearby table since he wasn't sure he have enough strength to keep it in his hand, "there's no more ghost with you, is it?"

When Jaehyun start to walk away, it was then that Taeyong speak, "are you the one running away now, Jaehyun? I haven't finished what I have to say."

"There's more to it?" He asked with a smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes, only sorrow remains of his figure, "if it's about how insufferable I've been for you, maybe you should just keep it to yourself."

"Well, you're not wrong, you can be insufferable to me," he shrugged, hiding the telltale of a smile on his lips when Jaehyun waves his hand in giving up, not wanting to hear more and yet, he lingers still. "I am, done. I'm done running away, Jaehyun. That's what I meant to say."

Only then did Jaehyun look back to him again, eyes slightly wide and hope rekindled within. This time, it was Taeyong who took a step closer between them, hands not yet reaching out, "do you hear me? I'm done running away."

"And what, does that mean?" He whispered.

"I'm done running away from you."

Jaehyun couldn't say anything for a long moment, only staring and trying to see if he had seen the signs wrongly, was it a conclusion only his mind wished and take form in reality. He needs more to be sure, "what changed?"

"Because I've been sitting in this seat meant for two and let people sit in it with me, but they never fit, they always feel wrong," Taeyong took another step closer, finally reaching out a hand to hold the man's arm, "I think because the seat only meant for a certain someone I've been denying to sit with me in this life."

It is as clear as it is obvious, but after been denied for so long, it is hard for Jaehyun to believe, "and you decided to accept it?"

"I've come to a conclusion that it's not one man's job to make a change. If you do yours, then I'll do mine, until we reach a point where we can meet and accept what's so different between us."

From where Taeyong sliding his hand over the man's arm to his chest, he could feel the loud thumping under. Jaehyun catch his hand, holding it on his heart and afraid to let go as if this moment is merely an illusion, "and that point is?"

"For us to find together, if you want," Taeyong smiles and finally, a same smile blooming on the man's lips.

"You won't run away anymore? You'll... accept me?"

Taeyong gets even closer for his lips to graze over Jaehyun's ear, whispering, "take me away from here, Jaehyun, then we will find out."

Without letting go, Jaehyun pulls on his hand and lead them out of the building, haste in his feet. But Taeyong is rather impatient, on their way in the darkness of the night and lonely road, he pulls on the hand over his to make the said man turned around to see him. At first there was fear in Jaehyun's eyes, thinking that Taeyong will push him away again, perhaps changing his mind. But such fear laid to rest when the older man immediately crowding him to crash on a wall and kisses him with urgency.

"Taeyong," he couldn't help the slip of the name passed his lips, with so much yearning, so much longing.

"Take me home, Jaehyun." It's been far too long overdue.

When they reached the safety inside Jaehyun's home, just behind the closed door, they kiss like there's no tomorrow. Fisting the collar and body crashing on every surface there is, open mouths inhaling each other and chest bumping desperately wanting to be closer than it was possible. They knocked over some things, paying no mind to it except for the heated kisses and hands roaming over the clothed skin. Blindly and almost slipping from the way they didn't even care to see where they're going, they fell on the couch in the living room, never separating even to take a deep breath.

Taeyong is on him, gliding his hands over his chest, fingers popping the buttons off him and immediately, his palms against hot, bare skin. He dives down to leave kisses on it, sucking a mark on the pale neck and biting the beautiful collarbone.

"Taeyong-"

"No talking, save it for later," he breathed it out, leaning up to kiss his lips again.

Jaehyun too, couldn't wait any longer, catching the man by both his arms and spin them over for him to loom over the small body under him, "you can't take it back, you hear me? After this, I won't let you take it back."

"I won't, and I don't want to," Taeyong said, so softly it almost got lost in his low hiss when Jaehyun running his hand from the opening of his shirt on his waist, to ride the cloth up to his chest, fingers carefully caressing his skin.

It feels experimental, the way Jaehyun stroking his body, hot palm against his chest, fingers brushing his erected nipple. So slowly, too careful, he's panning every inch of his skin with his lips and eyes trailing as if he's in a trance, awe filling him, overwhelming. Taeyong was ready for more, thighs brushing over the man's legs and resting on his hip as a sign to continue. But there's a tremble from the body above him, and when he looks up, Taeyong is met with tears in his eyes, glimmering like diamonds in the dim lights of the room.

"Is this real?" Jaehyun asked barely a whisper, "am I really with you?"

"I'm no longer a ghost, Jaehyun," he replied also in a whisper, leaning up to kiss the man's cheek, trailing to his eyes and the salty wetness of his tears, "you have the real me now."

" _I love you_ ," Jaehyun holds his face preciously, kissing his face and Taeyong realized that there's tears in his eyes too when those soft lips tickling his eyelashes. "I really, really love you, Taeyong."

Finally, he can say it, "I love you too, Jaehyun. I'm sorry it took me so long to accept you."

"Is this you taking me because you want it, or is this you giving me because... you thought this is what I want, what I need?"

"I'm taking and giving it to you, Jaehyun," he tucks in the hair behind Jaehyun's ear, kissing it, brushing their faces together in yearning, "it is my choice."

"Are you drunk?" He asked, hesitant.

"You're the only one who drank alcohol tonight, I hadn't had any."

"Champagne can't make me drunk."

Taeyong chuckled, "Then you know."

They know.

In the way they touch, the way their lips felt, the way their bodies fit together. No more years wasted, no more denials, but the yearns, they'll always be there for the soul will always love one another. They didn't rush to take off their clothes, one by one gently, sliding off their shoulder and kisses the naked skin. Buttons and zips undone, fingers reaching and tongue licking a trail of fire accompanied with soft breaths and gasps. Spinning in the air and fall into a bed, heat waving thickly through their sharp, dark eyes.

They want to do it vanilla, but when Jaehyun coming down to swallow Taeyong's erection, hair fisted and pulled, he wants to taste too, "wait Jaehyun."

"You don't want this?" He asked, impatient with another lick at the underside, wetting it thoroughly, loving the way Taeyong yanking at his hair and the breathy sounds he's making.

"I want you under me."

Jaehyun complied, laying on the bed with his head almost touching the headboard, then Taeyong instantly kneels above his hip, bending down to kiss his stomach, feeling it flutters against his lips. He relishes in the way Jaehyun is breathing a bit loud just from his kisses, brushing across his navel then gliding the flat of his tongue over the nipple. He looks up as he bites softly, seeing Jaehyun gasping with a hand covering his mouth.

"Don't hide, no more hiding," Taeyong took his hand, bringing it to his mouth instead, licking the digit and swallowing in.

"It was always you who hide," he groaned at the heated tickling from his fingers in Taeyong's wet, hot mouth, "I can have my moments to hide."

"And I said, no more of that," Taeyong breathed out over Jaehyun's lips before kissing him again, open and filthy. Then he's moving forward, stopping when his knees beside the man's head and turns his body around for both his hands running on the slope of Jaehyun's body, "how about this?"

"Goddammit," he hissed with the sight above him so inviting and alluring, he could smell the intimate musk which belongs only to Taeyong. They've never gone this far, yet it does feel so natural for them and how their scent already far too familiar, and they could never get enough. "You really- couldn't you make this moment more heartfelt or something?"

"I love to have you on me, Jaehyun, but I also want to taste you," he had the gal to wink from where he is bending over him and head above Jaehyun's erection.

It seems like a slow motion, when he sees Taeyong opening his mouth with his tongue out to taste immediately, the drag feels much too good that Jaehyun jumps a bit at the sensations. The sensitive skin of his erection touched something in Taeyong's mouth and he moaned out loud, gripping the slender thighs around his head tightly, most probably will leave bruises after. With lust boiling under his skin, Jaehyun puts in his rather wet fingers which was in Taeyong's mouth, into his own, wetting it even more before he runs it over the man's rim.

Taeyong gasps, letting him go for a moment to breath out with underlining moans, " _yeah_ , like that..."

When he pushes in a finger, Taeyong's legs quiver and hip going down just a bit for the tip of his erection to graze Jaehyun's lips. He takes it in his mouth, suddenly eliciting louder moans from the older and he swirls his tongue to raise the intensity. Taeyong is alternating from moaning as he takes little breaths and giving down sloppily around the hardness in his mouth, forcing it down his throat to cause the man under him moaning too.

They have barely started, but they feel so overwhelmed that they're close to coming, so Taeyong raises up from his position when there was already two of Jaehyun's fingers stretching him, "stop, I'm so close."

"Me too," he answered with a rough voice, after having Taeyong's erection also down his throat and being far too impatient. "We can come once before-"

"I want to come with you inside me, Jaehyun."

A groan jumped out his throat and Taeyong didn't miss the way the man's erection twitching at his words, "you can't do that, I almost come just from _that_."

Taeyong leans backward a bit to spread his legs, opening his rim with his own fingers and stretching it as far as he could, not wanting to wait anymore yet he couldn't forsake his well being recklessly. But the way Jaehyun is watching him with rapt attention and open mouth, eyes burning in lust, Taeyong feels a satisfaction and pleasant shivers racking his body from making a show. After a good three fingers, he pulls out and open wide his cheeks to offer to the man kneeling before him.

"Come now," he said only to be kissed roughly and big hands roaming all over his body, pinning him deeper into the bed.

Flame burns with a burst when those big hands caught his legs and open him wider, placing his calf on the broad, thick shoulder. When a hardness breaching in his tight rim, Taeyong let go the kiss only to throw his head back with a loud moan. The push was desperate, unrelenting, and he savors the stinging burns as Jaehyun reaching the deepest part of him, thrusting forward hard once before he stops to wait for Taeyong to adjust.

But he didn't need to, because Taeyong is already embracing him and legs pulling him in even deeper, voice strained and airy, "fuck me now, no need to wait-"

Jaehyun didn't need to be told since he could barely hold it in, thrusting hard and fast right away, bringing out more moans and garbled words. He goes down, kissing and swallowing the messy hot noises from Taeyong's open mouth, tongues against each other and teeth biting the soft lips. A loud groan jumped out his throat when nails scratching his wide back, watching in awe the way Taeyong look so wrecked under him. He goes down to kiss the chin, to his neck and biting his shoulder, hand stroking the erection between them and another kneading the chest and perky nipple.

" _Oh fuck_ , God. You feel so good, _so good_ Jaehyun," Taeyong moaned out shamelessly, grabbing the man's ass with both his hands and pulling even harder to feel him more and more inside him, "yes, there, fuck... _ah_..."

"You feels amazing Taeyong, _I can't stop-_ " he also moaned out of control, hip moving on instinct and relishing at how hot and wet Taeyong is around him. He's about to come, but he holds it in, waiting for the older man to come undone first.

The pace they're going at is too fast, rough and harsh, but they need it that way. Taeyong's body jerked, convulsing when he's being racked with intensity as he orgasms, long scream ripping out from his mouth, not really noticing the way Jaehyun is licking inside to swallow his noises. He got surprised when Jaehyun suddenly pulling out, leaving his gaping rim with emptiness and warm white liquid pouring over his quivering thighs as Jaehyun stroking his erection to completion. Face red and expression tight with loud groans filling in the dim room, the sight was enough to make Taeyong to clench and dick twitching desiring for more.

Jaehyun fell forward, body shaky and bones like jelly after the intense orgasm, but he still aimed well enough not to crush Taeyong under his heavier weight. With arms over each other, they breathe out deeply while staring to one another languidly. There's wide smiles across their face, then chuckles to follow as they're pulling at each other to kiss softly. It feels complete to be able to stare at each other like that, so close and without holding back, fingers stroking the damp skin from sweat, mirroring smiles never fading.

"Why didn't you come inside me?" Taeyong whispered.

Jaehyun's face is already red, but it gets even redder from his question, making him laugh a bit, "I didn't wear condom... I don't think it was right."

He hummed, caressing the dimpled cheek and tucking in the dark brown strands behind the pale ear, something he realized he likes to do, "I won't mind, I want you to fill me to the brim with yours."

"You can't just-" Jaehyun groaned, gathering Taeyong tightly in his arms as he hides his face on the shaking shoulder from laughter, "you're too much."

"I can feel you against my thigh that you're getting hard again."

"What, you're ready for another round?" Jaehyun smirked, challenging.

"We have to make up for the many years we've wasted, one round is barely scratching the surface," Taeyong shrugged, giggling when Jaehyun tackling him and kissing all over his face.

"You better be ready then."

It was a victorious smile when he replied, "now, I'm always ready for you."

In the late morning when Taeyong woke up a bit sluggish and forced himself to cover his body with clothes, he didn't care that he's not necessarily wearing his shirt but instead Jaehyun's. It fit loose on him, but the scent which lingers on it was undeniably only belongs to that said man, and it feels belonging on his skin. He smiled to himself, back facing Jaehyun who's still lying asleep on the bed.

But when he's about to get up, there's an arm coiling around his waist, keeping him there on the edge of the bed, "are you leaving?"

"I would love to laze around with you on the bed, but we fell asleep last night and I really need a good bath after you fucked me that hard and bathed me in... well, _you_ ," he snickers, looking back to see shades of red filling the man's face, "I also need a good breakfast to fill my grumbling stomach."

"Then I will cook breakfast," Jaehyun quickly sitting up still without letting him go, "don't go home yet, stay."

"I won't leave," he said and it was more than staying longer in Jaehyun's home.

"Thank you," Jaehyun kissed his shoulder, the patch of skin which his shirt didn't cover, trailing up to his ear, "I love you."

Taeyong hummed, for now, he will say it back later. He didn't care to wear a pants when Jaehyun finally letting him go, a boxer is good enough when he still have more plans for them that day. When he emerges from the bathroom, he sees Jaehyun wearing an apron in the kitchen whipping up breakfast for the two of them, perhaps such a sight is much welcomed in Taeyong's life now. He likes what he's seeing.

"You said something about taking down your father last night."

Jaehyun jumped a bit at his sudden voice, stopping his hand at cooking fluffy pancakes, "I did."

"Do you have enough strong, trusted men to do that?"

"I would like to think I do, many supporting my plan of what I want to do with the group, when it's truly mine."

"You're thinking to reform it," Taeyong understood with a nod.

"I thought that's the only way to make it possible for you to stay with me," he shrugged.

"All that, for me?"

"Everything I did, they were always for you."

That makes a smile on his lips, "you know, you don't have to do it alone, I'll lend my strength to help you with that."

Jaehyun make a confused look on his face, "what do you mean?"

"I have my own men, brothers from my father's dojo. You see, I was planning to _straighten_ your business from behind the scene," he propped his head on his hands, challenging.

It took a moment for Jaehyun's confused and surprised look to shift into pleasant awe, "Doyoung and the gang?"

They shared a look, wide smiles on both their face.

"So we'll be busy, reforming the underworld, huh?"

"We can do it together."

Jaehyun smirked, lifting a fist in the air, "and what should I call your unit with?"

Taeyong bumped their fists together, "the Dragons."

**Author's Note:**

> Do you like it? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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